Something as simple as a handshake in a moment so important to two people. It was like, I dunno, magic. Anna Nalick's "Breathe (2AM)" was blaring on the stereo for the third time, and all I could do was look down at her. During the second play my back was to her just in case for like the third time in my life I began crying, and I couldn't have her seeing me do that. The first round of the song I sat right in front of her and then we embraced. The third time, as described before, was me looking down at her. I had reached my hand to her and she looked up and shook her head then reached hers out to mine. Then she put her other hand on mine and embraced it running her fingers over the minute details. So I bent slightly so she could have an easier time examining my hand. It was the least I could do.

Then "Possum Kingdom" came on and we talked and other such things.

This moment brought to you by weakness. A moment, at least for me, so powerful would not have come about if it wasnt for our mutual jealousies. She was about to call our closeness quits again. Yes, again, and not because she doesn't crave it, but because she cant bear the thought of losing me. This time because of a girl, but other times just because of my aloofness. Even though the girl in question is for all intents and purposes a boy. A friend, from way back, who wants to go with me to shows n such.

I absolutely would give up everything for her, Adriana, to be happy. Everything except to have to lose our closeness. In that respect I am selfish.

I look at her as my soulmate.

I hope she never reads this. Not because of the thought that she would be angry that I wrote of a moment so personal, or because I called her (and to some extent me) weak. No, it is because I want her to just know and believe. I dont wan't her to have to read about it. I want her to just trust "us."